New Generation Tory Toffs

This is the new generation Tories, according to a Guardian story. They bothered with what they had to say. I didn't. I know anyway. "We need change. We need this and that. Today is bollocks, tomorrow will better", and all that. But no mate, tomorrow won't be all that good as you make it out to be. You'll bloody well find a way to fuck it up.  


Nice parka dude. This reminds me of that politics fashion shoot the Observer did a while back. Shirt by Thomas Pink, Parka by Lambretta, haircut by Mr Topper and magazine by The Spectator. Twat.

This guy is, of course, just cool. I dig him.

    

Are you getting undressed or are you putting the jacket back on? Either option is disturbing to me. And white. The colour of innocence. What are you hiding?

Trainers? What are you trying to do? Look like 'one of the people'? Put your feet down woman, and get changed - unless you're off for a run? Casual is good, yes, don't take such liberties, Tory woman.

Guardian gone Fashion in Politics mad....

A political fashion shoot - who would have thought....

This what you're supposed to be wearing as a Tory, Lib Dem or Labour supporter....

Britain ain't Broken - It's Morbid...

These are the two latest campaign posters from the main parties in the lead up to the General Election. Neither of them is particularly happy and positive - but then, a political attack ad rarely is. 

But what you do notice is the doom and gloom - the greyness if you like - that both ads communicate. The Tory one is especially harsh, even reminding voters that no one lives forever. Also the Labour one deals with issues of live and death, but I would argue it looks a bit better than the Conservative one. But come on - Cancer or Death, is that all you guys can offer...

The Tatler Tories

These images are admittedly over a year old (September 2008), but how can I resist such goodies when I just stumbled upon them, on the Telegraph website as it happens. This is the new generation Tories, apparently. All a bit grey, if you ask me. Black, white and grey - very monochrome. And, of course, a great cross cut of multi cultural Britain. But then, why shouldn't it be? The Conservative party is the party for and by the British people, right? Well, whatever you think of that, I still thinks this looks like a cross between a Zara and a Benetton commercial....

Erdem Can't Decide - Left or Right!?

Conference season is coming to an end; the Conservatives only have a couple of days left. This marks the early beginning of the election campaign for the May 2010 election! That's all good of course, but at FiP we're also anxious to see what the First Lady and First Lady In Waiting wore. Not surprisingly they both went British. Erdem might be born in Turkey but he lives, operates and shows in London.

Cameron went for a sober black jacket-and-trouser combination, whilst Brown injected colours in her printed dress. SamCam also wore high street pieces (trousers from Jigsaw, a silky, top from Whistles, and high heels from Zara) and the jacket, according to the Daily Telegraph, was one or two seasons old. She's truly one of the people!

Still, I think Sarah Brown came away the winner. It's a conference after all and she introduced her husband - of course you should dress up. And She did that within limits as well; we didn't want her in a silky Versace number on that stage. Go Labour! No, I mean Go Sarah! Oh no, of course I mean Go Erdem!

Bruno talks Fashion in Politics with the Guardian

The British political scene is in crisis, MPs have never been so reviled. How would you restore confidence?

Ich do not like to talk about politics. Ze last time an Austrian got involved in politics it resulted in ein horrific var, which resulted in ze annihilation of all major European fashion shows for six years. Ich know it's controversial – but in my opinion – Hitler vas a bit of a bitch. I know someone who vas ze grandson of his personal assistant; apparently behind ze scenes he vas a real tyrant. Vorse zan Elton!

The ex-home secretary's husband tried to claim his adult movie habit on expenses. He watched Raw Meat 3 – do you know it?

Nein, ich do not vatch adultmovies. If ich am feeling horny ich vatch Daniel Radcliffe movies. Zey are best watched on DVD vhen ich can pause it, und not run ze risk of accidentally finishing meinself off vhen ze old vizard ist on the screen.

Britain is about to be taken, if not roundly thrashed, by a group of smooth-cheeked public school boys. What should we do?

If you're you are not into ze spanking, pull out ein dildo. Most guys will run quicker zan an Austrian child who has just found ze door to his dungeon unlocked.

How should Gordon Brown improve his YouTube hit count?

Lose ze grimacing: he has ze sort of creepy smile zat makes you check your drink for Rohypnol! He alvays looks so sad – ich think he needs some new batteries in his love eggs und ein makeover. He needs to go in some skinny jeans, und change his name to "DJ Shadow". Und get some shpray tan – hello.

The crypto-fascists of the BNP are on the rise in our country. Do you have a message for them?

It is the wrong vay to get your message across! Look at Adolf, everyone remembers him for ze invading und ze fighting. No one remembers his bold use of colours and inventive accessorising. Or ze fact zat he could co-ordinate zose big shows vith thousands of people und hundreds of costume changes. Let me tell you, if Donatella Versace had been in charge of ze Nuremberg Rally, it vould have been a disaster! Ich have seen zese angry men mit zere shaven heads hanging abaus outside gay clubs. Too scared to come in. Ich says zere's plenty of room in ze Jacuzzi for all types of guys. Not all gays like immigrants you know, so it's no big deal, vassever.

How do you feel about Barack Obama's first 100 days?

He has been OK, but Bruno vould have liked it more if he'd have set up en actual Fashion Police Department vith full powers of arrest. Zey should be able to baton-charge anyone in sweatpants.

Would you style him differently?

Ja, ich vould set that hot body free from its prison made of suits! He should follow Bruno's rule: treat your clothes like you would do a pet. Love zem for a week, zen stick zem in a zip-up bag und throw zem in ze Danube. Then again Obama has to vear ein suit, or else zose gay marines who guard him vould be all over him like puppies on ein dropped ice cream.

Are you planning more Prop 8 demonstrations?

Of course! It is disgusting zat gay people don't have the same rights as straights: the right to be trapped in a loveless sex-free marriage that ends in a massive legal fight over a house. And as for kids, why shouldn't gays be able to adopt? Ein Third World baby is zis season's must-have accessory, and it is discrimination to deny zem this.

Is Bin Laden right? Is Obama antagonising Muslims?

Zose Al Qaida guys are so touchy! But then if all ich had to vear vas a black sheet und some sandals, I vould blow myself up too.

What three changes would you make you heal the world?

* Ban ze elasticating of jean vaists.
* Free colonic hoses on street corners.
* Make Karl Lagerfeld head of ze UN – he got Tyra Banks to appear on ze same runvay as Naomi, he could easily fix ze Middle East.

BULLINGDON

The man on the far left is, as I'm sure you know, George Osborne, the Tory shadow Chancellor. He's in the headlines these days for something that happened (or didn't, depending on who you ask) on the Greek island Corfu last summer. I argue he should also be questioned about this photo. You can sorta guess he's a Tory, can't you. Not much LibDem about that patronising look. It's partly the outfit, but also the way he looks at us. He almost says 'I'm know I'm gonna be Tory Chancellor one day and I have the White Tie suit to prove it. Trust me with your money, they'll be safe!' 

I have absolutely nothing against dressing up. On the contrary, I'm more than partial to the occasional suit and tie. But look at these boys - they have just graduated from Eton/Cambridge/Oxford/whatever and they know they're going to be successful politicians, bankers or business men. It's from the early Nineties, which is an explanationI suppose, but not an excuse.

Mandy - A Tory Surely....

Look at him. Peter Mandelson. British Business Minister in Brown's recent reshuffle. Third time lucky. Straight off the train from his EU office in Brussels. But can you see what's wrong with the picture? I don't mean to sterotype rich toffs (actually I do) but this man is surely a Tory. He's got the looks (to quote Roxette) that says: I'm not only rich, I'm handsome too. And judging from the combo of a striped shirt, dotted tie, red pullover (the colour red is key here, ask Chris Meyer) and a double breasted jacket, this man ain't Labour, that's for sure...